The Challenge of the Golden Rule

Engagement as the Narrow Way.

I grew up with three brothers and if you know anything about a house of all boys, you know its total chaos. Pestering one another was commonplace and although at times a show of affection, it was mostly an attempt to annoy one another. 

To be honest, as the oldest, I was usually the instigator and the first to get hurt. My dad frequently lectured, “if you can’t take it don’t dish it.” While I heard that phrase often as a child, its full meaning began to make more sense as I got older. 

This common phrase is the contemporary version of an ancient proverb; "do not do unto others what you do not wish done unto you.” It represents a philosophy of life that suggests we should refrain from actions we do not want reciprocated. This philosophy on its own is not inherently bad, however, it is a far cry from what Jesus desires from citizens of His Kingdom.

Matthew 5-7, contains the Sermon on the Mount which stands as a manifesto of what it means to be a part of the Kingdom of God. The whole sermon is Jesus’ description of what life in the kingdom and allegiance to him looks like. It is a beckoning to abandon the empires of humanity and attach ourselves to Christ the King.  

In concluding His sermon, Jesus provides Hi thoughts on judgement; "how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye?" (Mt 7:4). He shares on prayer; "If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (Mt 7:11).  He goes on to talk about the life of the disciple being “the narrow way that leads to life". Then, He gives us one of His most famous teachings which has been dubbed the “golden rule”.

“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets. Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few” (Matthew 7:12-14). 

In this sermon Jesus introduces the world to the Golden Rule, “do unto others what you want done to you. Although we tend to throw out the Golden Rule as a simple principle for life, it is anything but. Rather, as Jesus states, it is the narrow gate. Interestingly, He inverts the well-known, ancient proverb-"do not do unto others what you do not wish done unto you” into “do unto others as you would wish them to do to you.” 

Jesus flips this philosophy on its head. While the negative form is a call for restraint, Jesus is suggesting that life in the Kingdom is about engagement. The mandate of a Kingdom citizen is to identify the needs of others and respond with the kindness desired for self. To live by this Golden Rule requires an immense amount of proximity to and empathy for our neighbor.  

The Golden Rule requires our Proximity. 

The ancient philosophy of restraint allows us to remain distant from our neighbor, because I must only refrain from negative actions. When following the ancient philosophy, I am allowed to remain remote from my neighbor and neutral towards the problems they experience. Alternatively, Christ’s Golden Rule expects his followers to draw near enough to one another to recognize the struggles they are encountering. It is this proximity that allows us to see the nuance and complexities of any given issue, and to respond accordingly. 

To “do unto others…” is a beckoning to close the gap between ourselves and others. It is a move from the perceived safety of my personal life and into the messiness of another. The Golden Rule demands that the follower of Christ make a courageous move toward injustice, poverty, and sin. It is a beckoning to go to the places, communities, and individuals I would rather not. The Golden Rule cannot be followed passively or remotely; it can only be followed with intentional movement toward my neighbor. 

The Golden Rule requires our Empathy. 

As we draw near to the suffering of our neighbor, the Golden Rule demands I remain empathetic towards their plight. Proximity allows us to see the nuance of their suffering, but empathy allows us to understand it. The ancient proverb of “do not do unto others what you do not wish done unto you” allows us to look at life from only one perspective– my own. However, the Golden Rule forces us to place ourselves in the midst of our neighbor’s situation. It forces the question, “if I were in their shoes, what would I want done to me?”

The Golden Rule requires the hard work of putting oneself in the others shoes. Empathy is the humble posture of recognizing my own pain in the story of another. We all know pain, loss, and heartache; the power of empathy is to be able to draw on my own pain to find a commonality with my neighbor. While the ancient philosophy allows me to draw on my own perspective, the Golden Rule forces me to take the empathetic posture and consider the situation of another. 

The Narrow Path of Proximity and Empathy

I have often made the mistake of following an ancient proverb instead of Jesus’ Golden Rule. The ancient proverb provides the safety and convenience I prefer. I can remain distant to the challenges of individuals and communities around me focusing solely on the things of my life. I can remain rooted in my own perspectives and privileges untouched by the pain and experiences of another. The challenge of the Golden Rule is that I mistake “do not do unto others" for "do unto others”. For I am much more comfortable with the ancient proverb than the King of Kings. 

To discern between the ancient proverb and the Golden Rule one only has to look to the life of Christ. The strength of the Gospel Narrative lies in that everything God asks of us, He first demonstrates, including the Golden Rule. In the incarnation of Christ, we have an example of God intentionally moving towards humanity. In Jesus, God takes on flesh and gets in proximity to our suffering. We serve a God who refused to remain remote and distant but joined us in our pain. He saw suffering from our perspective by living next to us, and now, we have a savior who is able to empathize with our weaknesses (Heb. 4). It is in the example of Christ that we are called to enter the messiness of others and to reciprocate the love we have received in Christ.

The challenge of the Golden Rule is that it is a narrow path; will you go beyond yourself in proximity and empathy toward your neighbor?